share some xmas spirit

23 12 2008

Don’t know what to get that hard to shop for person in your life?

Then give by giving back!

I am the advisor for Up til Dawn at Carnegie Mellon University. Up ’til Dawn raises awareness and money for St Jude Children’s Research Hospital. It cost 1.3 MILLON dollars to operate the hospital each DAY. Yes, each day. And families are not asked to pay! But without donations from people like you, the hospital can’t help everyone who needs it. I’ve asked my family to forego giving me Christmas gifts and donate to the hospital instead. I’m giving everyone a donation. I don’t need more stuff, I need to know that if I have kids they can grow up happy and healthy.

If you’d like to give a gift, it’s really easy…
Go to:
http://shop. stjude. org/GiftCatalog/shop. do?cID=11243&pID=13252

Select CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY is the school name section
Then put in NICKI CROLY under student name
And make your donation!

That’s it! You can even run up to Target and get cards and/or candy designed with artwork from the children at St Jude. The money here also goes to the kids and is a nice way to tell the person who your donation went for.

I’ve been to the hospital and the work done there is amazing.
Because of St Jude, Acute Lymphoblastic Lukemia’s survival rate went from 4% in 1962 to 94% today!!!!

If you can help, great! If not, spread the word.
From all the patients and their families…THANK YOU!
♥! Nicki



17 10 2008

i wrote on the school newspaper with jamie. we weren’t friends outside of that but i got to see that she was a really cool person.

being away from home i just learned that jamie, who is 25, had been struggling with cancer and lost her battle tuesday. our newspaper advisor, holly, wrote about jamie in her blog here:

and a scholarship is in the works. check out holly’s blog above for details and please donate if you can.

my thoughts are with jamie’s family and friends.

i cant help but feel like im losing my grasp on california

15 10 2008

dont hate me cuz i left

hate the distance
hate that we’re busy
hate that theres never enough time
hate that i cant be there for the stupid moments and the big ones
hate that life is moving and we cant pause time

dont think i dont care
dont think i dont wish i was there
dont think i dont count the days til i come back

dont leave me
dont not need me
dont move on without me
dont forget you are on my mind everyday and that nothing here has ever compared to you


6 06 2008

that’s right.
i now reside in the 15213… word.

i love love love my new job and the environment around me.
i have already had some great times here and i suspect this to be an awesome summer.

it’s amazing what a change of zip code does for a person.

this i promise

18 05 2008

i know they say when others knock you down or underestimate you,
you must rise above it and show them, prove them wrong.

but sometimes it’s hard to find the strength within.


everyone…well people like myself anyway,
have those quiet moments where they break down.
do not let these moments fool you.

because i guarantee this-
i will prove you wrong.
i will be better without you.
i may have been weak in letting you pull me down, lose my spirit.
negativity breeds the like.
how you were able to show me what i had become because of you.
that ironic turn of fate has been my blessing.
so i promise you this
 the one promise i know i will make true
i will prove you wrong.

i will be better.
i will lead a loving, beautiful, happier and fuller life.

and this is why: your focus is misdirected.
see, you focus on bringing others down.
whereas, i focus on betterment.
i focus on prevailing your efforts and helping those who are dragged down by people just like you.

so enjoy each others company.
because yours will not be missed.


and it need not matter if you know what a life i have.
because i will know.
i will know i made good on my promise.

the revelation, the peace, & on being a better person

8 05 2008

You know that saying “be the bigger person”?
I never quite understood what it meant…I mean I’d prefer to look at it as being the better person.

Recently, I made the conscious decision to make some changes in my life. You see I am one of those people who treats friends like family. I do everything for my friends…sometimes even at the expense of myself. I love being that type of person; it truly makes me happy. Example: next March instead of going to a professional conference in which I can find a potential job, I will be celebrating the union of two of my favorite people in marriage. Being Kiersten’s Maid of Honor is something I am so excited and happy to do. Kiersten is like my sister and could never miss being apart of her happy day for anything.

On the reverse, unfortunately, I’ve been friends with people who don’t view the relationship to the same respect that I do. I’ve had friends who walk all over me. Friends who constantly talk to me disrespectfully. Who create problems, drama, and mess and don’t care what the consequence is to others. Friends who have no interest in what’s going on in my life. Friends who tell me everything about their day and don’t ask me anything about mine. Friends who don’t put any work into the friendship.

Friends who, once I look back now, weren’t truly much of a “friend” to begin with.

So I have been thinking…for awhile now…about why I choose to be friends with these people? I mean obviously they aren’t going to do anything to change. They are who they are. But if I want more for myself… if I feel I deserve more- why the hell am I not doing anything about it???

There’s been a lot of squabbles within my program among people (which is going to happen in any group). And luckily, for the first time in my adult life, I’ve been what I like to call “Switzerland”; I have no idea what’s going on and vow to remain to neutral. But my personal revelation is reflective in this squabble too. If everyone vowed to be the “better person” think of how much more peaceful you’d be.

Let me delve deeper…

When I decided to be a “better person” (something you can only decide to do for yourself) it took some time to process. At first I felt anger. There is so much that sits on the chest of a doormat. Words unspoken fester over time. Cutting toxic relationships doesn’t mean there aren’t remnants left behind. Then I thought- what is a handful of people less in your life? Doesn’t that mean more time for the people who truly matter? 

But in my decision I realized I had to let go. And letting go, while difficult to do, has brought a wave of peace. I let go of all the unspoken words and the anger..I had to… if I continued to hold on to it it would mean the sacrifice of my own sense of power in my life. To have negative feelings towards others only brings negativity within.

The peacefulness was amazing. The sere sense of being okay with oneself. Okay with the decisions made, okay with the consequences (positive or negative) thereafter. Just simply the feeling that it was all okay.

I feel bad for those…myself included…who don’t focus on what one can do for themselves. If there is conflict or problems in your life you have to try, with everything in you, to find the place where you are resolved. You have to focus on the control you have, give your all, and be at peace with whatever happens. To me that’s being the better person.

WOW- I sound like a yoga instructor….hahaha

im not good with goodbyes

5 05 2008

Friday is my last day working at Clarion.

There are 2 things that make it hard for me to leave…yep just 2.
First off, the students I work with. I absolutely adore the 30ish students I have gotta to work with here. I love hearing about their lives, relationships, etc. Giving them advice on what to do in the future or how to handle current problems. There are some amazing students here and it’s gonna suck to not be here to hang out, develop through some of Chickering’s vectors, and even watch a few of them graduate. But I’ve learned a lot from them and they’ll always be my first real “kids”.

Then there’s Kelly. Essentially, my PA BFF. I’m leaving her in this small town. And it sucks for us both! It’s going to be super weird not having every single class with her and driving 3 hours round trip once a week, blaring Bon Jovi or the array of various 80s and pop songs, singing at the top of our lungs, all while trying to pass coal trucks and avoid driving over the road kill on the windy “highway”. At least we have one class together next semester. And I know she’s gonna be coming down to Pittsburgh often to get away.

So I’ll hold my goodbye and opt for see ya later.

…though to the rest of Clarion- PEACE OUT! hahahaha